I can not take credit for any of these personally (I recieved this as a "random thoughts" email, but I did laugh out loud when I realized that there are indeed people out there like me!!
Random Thoughts of the Day:
* Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that
you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are
supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back
in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something
like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to
yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're
crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
* I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I
was younger.
* Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it
wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would
magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we
all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards
or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
* There is a great need for sarcasm font.
* I think everyone has a movie that they love so much; it actually
becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90
minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at
the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and
a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really,
really gets it..
* How on earth are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
* I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand
than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
* The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying
to finish a text.
* Was learning cursive really necessary?
* I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and
hunger.
* Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a
Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
* How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just
nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
* I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars
teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong,
brothers!
* MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty
sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
* I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in
the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
* Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get
dirty, and you can wear them forever. (really I think only a guy would think this thought)
* I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
* Bad decisions make good stories
* Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their
profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got
the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I
do!
* If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring
would probably just be completely invisible.
* You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at
work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything
productive for the rest of the day.
* Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I
don't want to have to restart my collection.
* I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it
asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that
I know I did not make any changes to.
* "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this
ever.
* I don't when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Darnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes
to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and
run away?
* I get totally bummed when I leave my house confident and looking good and then not end up seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
* When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something
she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light
internet stalking.
* I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on
shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
* As a driver I don't like pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I don't like
drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always dislike
cyclists.
* Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and
still not know what time it is.
* I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know
not to answer when they call.
* Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what
do to with it.
* Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their
car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on
the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the Snooze
button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time
every time...
* My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what
would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the do I respond to
that?
* I think the freezer deserves a light as well..
* The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag,
saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words,
someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about
it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating
to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself.
